I'm Back!

For some reason, I just remembered this blog. I feel inspired to write again! So here I am, almost three years later. What's going on? Well, in the typical mind, nothing much. But in the spiritual mind, SO much. The Lord has led me into valleys and up to mountain peaks. Through it all, He remains faithful. I love to read Oswald Chambers' devotional called My Utmost for His Highest. Recently, i read about how we should never allow ourselves to become "spiritually dejected," because to be that way implies that we have either had a lust satisfied, or we have not had a lust satisfied. A lust can be physical or spiritual. It is simply anything that we must have "at once." That can be food, drink, sex, money, or it can be to have a prayer answered right away, to be seen doing good deeds, to be thanked and appreciated, etc. When we pray, we must not be seeking the answer so much, but the One we are praying to for the answer. And i think Oswald is right once again. If you see a Christian full of joy, even when they are in the midst of failure, disappointment, and unanswered prayer, then you can be sure that that person has been seeking God for who God is, just to learn from Him and draw close to Him, and that is enough.

I have been praying for several years for 3 major things in my life, and they have not yet all come to pass. But one of those prayers was recently answered!! And i have learned so much just by being patient and continuing to believe for those things. They are not selfish requests, after all. They are God's will. And He promises that if we ask according to His will and not for selfish gain, then He will give us what we ask for. So i have been holding to that promise. And He is faithful. He might not always do things the way we think they should be done, or in the time frame we would like, but He will do it in His time, in His way. The important thing is that we not stop believing or stop asking. He wants us to be like that persistent widow who kept coming to the king with her problem (Luke 18:1-8). So it all comes down to belief and persistence. We must always remember that our time and His time are completely different. For Him, a thousand years are like a day!! So for me to wait 10 years is really not long in His eyes.

So maybe you're wondering which prayer was answered? Well, the thing i asked for was that God might place me in a ministry where i can make a difference, a ministry that would truly be led by Him and not by man, one that would count for eternity, one that would not just be burned up in the fire. I desperately want the good works i do to be acceptable in His eyes, and i don't care what man thinks. I can be noticed or not noticed by man; either way, it doesn't matter. If i know that God has authored the ministry, then i know all the glory and success is His. And if there were to SEEM to be any failure, then i would know it was in His hands and not mine or any other human's. All too often, Christians want to be DOING something for God, and rightly so. But they go out in their own strength and follow their ideas without really seeking the Lord and waiting for Him to send them on a mission that would be worth their time and effort. I spent too many years doing that, and it was generally fruitless and empty. So i determined that i was going to do the waiting and praying before jumping out to serve and sacrifice. "To obey is better than sacrifice."

In answer to this prayer, He has led me to take part in a jail ministry (and i have for years been desiring to love those in jail and visit them) where a few of us mamas get to go in once a week and pray for the ladies there. It has been truly amazing, and i am so blessed to get to share in their lives. It is really beyond description. The Spirit of God is moving in the hearts of these broken women, and it is glorious. I mean, THIS is what living for the Lord is all about--changing lives and being made one mind, one spirit, with those whom He has called to be His little sheep, praising Him together, even in the midst of our broken lives. It is just beautiful. He is faithful, and He deserves all our praises and our loyalty!