I'm Back!

For some reason, I just remembered this blog. I feel inspired to write again! So here I am, almost three years later. What's going on? Well, in the typical mind, nothing much. But in the spiritual mind, SO much. The Lord has led me into valleys and up to mountain peaks. Through it all, He remains faithful. I love to read Oswald Chambers' devotional called My Utmost for His Highest. Recently, i read about how we should never allow ourselves to become "spiritually dejected," because to be that way implies that we have either had a lust satisfied, or we have not had a lust satisfied. A lust can be physical or spiritual. It is simply anything that we must have "at once." That can be food, drink, sex, money, or it can be to have a prayer answered right away, to be seen doing good deeds, to be thanked and appreciated, etc. When we pray, we must not be seeking the answer so much, but the One we are praying to for the answer. And i think Oswald is right once again. If you see a Christian full of joy, even when they are in the midst of failure, disappointment, and unanswered prayer, then you can be sure that that person has been seeking God for who God is, just to learn from Him and draw close to Him, and that is enough.

I have been praying for several years for 3 major things in my life, and they have not yet all come to pass. But one of those prayers was recently answered!! And i have learned so much just by being patient and continuing to believe for those things. They are not selfish requests, after all. They are God's will. And He promises that if we ask according to His will and not for selfish gain, then He will give us what we ask for. So i have been holding to that promise. And He is faithful. He might not always do things the way we think they should be done, or in the time frame we would like, but He will do it in His time, in His way. The important thing is that we not stop believing or stop asking. He wants us to be like that persistent widow who kept coming to the king with her problem (Luke 18:1-8). So it all comes down to belief and persistence. We must always remember that our time and His time are completely different. For Him, a thousand years are like a day!! So for me to wait 10 years is really not long in His eyes.

So maybe you're wondering which prayer was answered? Well, the thing i asked for was that God might place me in a ministry where i can make a difference, a ministry that would truly be led by Him and not by man, one that would count for eternity, one that would not just be burned up in the fire. I desperately want the good works i do to be acceptable in His eyes, and i don't care what man thinks. I can be noticed or not noticed by man; either way, it doesn't matter. If i know that God has authored the ministry, then i know all the glory and success is His. And if there were to SEEM to be any failure, then i would know it was in His hands and not mine or any other human's. All too often, Christians want to be DOING something for God, and rightly so. But they go out in their own strength and follow their ideas without really seeking the Lord and waiting for Him to send them on a mission that would be worth their time and effort. I spent too many years doing that, and it was generally fruitless and empty. So i determined that i was going to do the waiting and praying before jumping out to serve and sacrifice. "To obey is better than sacrifice."

In answer to this prayer, He has led me to take part in a jail ministry (and i have for years been desiring to love those in jail and visit them) where a few of us mamas get to go in once a week and pray for the ladies there. It has been truly amazing, and i am so blessed to get to share in their lives. It is really beyond description. The Spirit of God is moving in the hearts of these broken women, and it is glorious. I mean, THIS is what living for the Lord is all about--changing lives and being made one mind, one spirit, with those whom He has called to be His little sheep, praising Him together, even in the midst of our broken lives. It is just beautiful. He is faithful, and He deserves all our praises and our loyalty!

Heal It With God's Plants

One of the ways i really love to draw closer to God is when i need a remedy from Him. Just two weeks ago, i lifted up my two-year-old by the hand and felt a tiny "pop" and he proceeded to scream out in pain. He had tears streaming down his face. All i could do was hold on to him and cry out to Jesus to help me help him. I prayed for guidance in that moment. I was considering going to the emergency room, but my wise husband comforted me and told me to give it an hour first. So i went home and immediately began researching to find out what had happened and what the doctors would do if i did take him in. Their methods seemed extremely overkill and traumatizing, and i already knew of an herbal remedy that might aid the healing anyway. So i proceeded to get council from the Holy Spirit, and He gave me peace. I made a comfrey poultice and placed it on his hand, with a wristband holding it in place and made sure he could not move the hand. I made him rest and elevated his hand and prayed for healing. Throughout the night, i kept replacing the poultice. The next evening, not quite 24 hours later, he was healed! He no longer cried when he moved it around. It just overwhelmed me with joy to see how God used a simple herb and the tiny body responded responded! I was so glad that i didn't take him in. That isn't to say i never would, but i knew that i didn't need to that time. Just last week, two of my boys developed rashes, one with a fever, and they looked totally different. It was very frustrating and confusing as i tried to find all the information i could. But again, i knew that comfrey had helped me before with a rash problem, so i kept giving them tea baths and other remedies. I had them drink blood-purifying tea as well (dandelion, burdock). After lots of prayer and tender loving, they were both completely well in three days! Once more, the Lord was with me. Looking back on the trials, i don't mind it. I love the way He speaks to me in those times when i really need His wisdom. I get scared in those moments, knowing that my children's health is in my hands, but again and again He reminds me that i am not of this world. He is my God and i don't need to fear what others fear. If we seek, we will find, whether we are seeking salvation (healing of our souls) or bodily health (healing of our bodies). Let's go to Him and learn about the plants He has given us. Don't put your trust in man. And if you do go seek a doctor's help, pray all the way there, pray while you are there and when you get home. Make sure that God has given you peace before ingesting your medicines. Thank You for being our Healer, our Great Physician.

We Moved! I don't deserve this!

The Lord has blessed us with 10 beautiful acres of His creation! We even get to access a lake in our backyard! How good He is. How undeserving we are. I just cry to think of His mercy, especially when i consider how many humans are suffering in the world. They are going hungry. They are running for their lives because of needless wars. They are being raped and mistreated. They are just helpless. Most of the times, it's just because of where they happen to live! To be born and raised as i was is such a blessing. How can we complain about anything? God forbid that we should complain about our petty trials. We are so blessed!

And i don't mean to convey that i don't have trials in my life. I most certainly do! But our trials are turned to gold when we consider how God is working and what He is accomplishing in our character when we are tested. I know that if i am going through something hard, He is pruning me to make me bear fruit. But overall, when i compare my life with others, i do feel very shined upon. And i know it is nothing good in me that has brought this about. Anything good is from the Lord because of His mercy. I will praise Him!

Christ Mass?

If you care to seek out the origins of American holidays, beware...you'll never view them the same way. But i can't help myself. I must research. Researching is somehow in my blood. I cannot do things blindly "just because it's what we do." I need to have a valid reason. So i know Jesus was not born on December 25, nowhere even close to that date. I know that Christmas has pagan origins and that the Catholics just wanted to turn something pagan into something "christian." And i know that God never commanded us to celebrate the birth of Jesus anyway. So why celebrate Christmas?

To be honest, i could leave this holiday in the dust and not feel guilty. I don't think Jesus really cares one way or the other. But if we are going to celebrate His birth, then let it be really about Him, to bring glory to His Name. The fact is, i am not alone and my decisions affect other people. So for the sake of our family and children, we decided to go ahead and celebrate Jesus on December 25. Why not? We celebrate Him every day! So why not go ahead and put up lights on His behalf? Why not spend extra money in His Name? Remember that woman who poured out the expensive perfume on His feet? May the gifts we give (whether to each other or to the poor) be done for His glory somehow and not for selfish motives. And i have to admit, i do love the songs we sing at this time of year that focus on His majesty. Yes, i can find plenty of reasons to celebrate. It's been a hard decision for us, but "whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord."

All i want is for you to think about WHY you are doing what you're doing. Don't do it because "it's just what we've always done." Have a better reason than that. And let your focus really be on Him and not on yourself. Let's turn this American thing, this tradition, this celebration with pagan origins, into something truly good and pure, something that will cause others to see Him in us:)

Happy "Birthday" Jesus:) Forgive me if my american ways are offensive to You...

Should Christians Celebrate Halloween?

I get asked this question every year, and every year we ask ourselves the same question again just to remind ourselves why we've chosen what we have chosen. Come October, what do we teach our children about this subject? I have struggled with finding an approach that both teaches them not to have anything to do with what is evil, while at the same time not allowing them to judge fellow Christians for participating in whatever degree. After all, these Christians are not deliberately trying to celebrate evil. They are either ignorant as i used to be, or they have found it too difficult to pull away completely from something that is a good childhood memory, and i really can't blame them because it is indeed a very hard thing to do. Either way, it isn't our place to be the Judge. We simply cannot do anything that goes against our own conscience. For us, it would be sinful to celebrate because of how we view it. Obey your own conscience:)

From speaking with Christians who do participate, i find that many of them don't want to take the "fun" of dressing up and other traditions away from their kids. I can relate. It is not easy to take fun away. You feel like the "bad guy." However, this cannot be our only reason for doing what we do. If we based other decisions on our kids having fun, we would be horrible parents. "Oh Jonnie, you're having fun stringing toilet paper all over the house? Well, okay then." You see my point:) Personally, i did grow up celebrating Halloween and developed a great love of dressing up. That's why i decided before ever having children that we would have birthday costume parties. That way, they are getting that fun of dressing up at a party, but it is in order to celebrate life and not death. Maybe you could consider doing the same thing. It has worked for us so far.

Every year in October, the boys have inevitably seen something scary from Halloween. Pictures of witches, scary pumpkins, people dressed up like the devil--they've seen it all. So rather than me ignore it, or laugh at it as though it weren't serious, i address the issue. "Yes, boys, sadly this is what people do at Halloween. It is a day where Satan tries to trick people into not taking spiritual matters seriously." The boys didn't need me to tell them that those things were evil; they knew by the way it made them scared. All i did was to encourage them that their conclusions were correct. I didn't make it out like it was fun or didn't matter.

I like the idea of using what Satan means for evil and turning it to good. Many Christians have chosen Harvest Festivals as an alternative to Halloween because they see that Halloween is evil. However, this feels to me too much like a cop-out. This makes it easy on Christians not to have to take away "fun" from their children. But really, you must admit that it isn't much different from the "holiday" itself. I think we would make a bigger statement to the world by not having anything to do with it; rather, we should totally turn it into an evangelism project. One thing the kids and i do is carve JESUS into our pumpkin. Or this year we did JESUS LIVES. Instead of having them dress up, you can explain to them the origins of why people used to dress up, and then tell them that you will be staying home and handing out gospel tracts with the treats (make sure the treats are something the kids would want; splurge a little) when trick-or-treaters come to your door. If you live in a neighborhood, you can do what my mom did one year and paint a huge meaningful mural that displays light against darkness, showing the Light to be victorious. These things can minister to people that you are not going along with the crowd, yet you are still friendly enough to turn on your lights and answer the door with a smile. You can play Christian music and be sitting outside drinking hot chocolate, praying silently, welcoming them up to your door with a gospel tract ready. I know you would be "embarassed," but this foolishness is actually God's wisdom. If you are seeking an opportunity to be a witness, it will not be in vain.

Other thoughts on how we can turn this day into an evangelism project? Please email them to me! And don't be offended in a bad way; i am not the Judge. I love you even if you participate. But at the same time, i am passionately against it so i must express that or else it would mean i didn't care!

So i will not say, "Happy Halloween." Instead i'll say, "May the Lord bless you and keep you safe." :)

I Will Testify!

We just returned from a week of wonderful times in Minnesota, visiting some of the most precious people on earth and enjoying the bountiful storms and rains they were getting up there. It seemed every person had a huge garden, blooming flowers all over like crazy, and everywhere you turned, there was beauty. While we were there, sleeping at Ben Israel, i had a powerful dream. In the dream, i was with several others and we were standing in a circle outside in an open field with trees surrounding on all sides. Someone said, "Let's just give praise to our Father," so we all simultaneously began shouting praises to Him. As we got louder in our praises, He gave a mightly loud crash of thunder. In the dream, we knew it was because He loved our words. I woke up at one crash and realized it was storming. It was the thunder in my dream! It was so amazing.

During a morning prayer meeting, we prayed earnestly for rain in the south scorched land we call home. On our drive back, it was raining almost the whole way, so we all just took turns praying that the Lord would bring it down south to Oklahoma. The boys' prayers were so innocent, so trusting that God would answer. Well, guess what! It rained the next day, and the next and it's pretty much been storming ever since! Now i know a lot of people may have been praying, but who knows...maybe no one prayed in faith like the faith of a child...

I don't even mind that one storm blew our fence down. "Shall we accept good from the Lord, and not bad?" The fence blowing down is a test for our hearts. Will we choose to be thankful for that much-needed rain, or will we groan and complain that He did not keep our fence in tact? May the Lord deal with us, be it ever so severely, if we do not give Him the praise that He deserves!

So yes, i will testify that He is good. And He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. And He hears the prayers of those who have faith in His goodness! Thank You, my Father!!

Just Pondering Foolishness

Do you have to be a fool in order to talk or act foolishly? I don't think so. Take Job's wife, for example. People are always so hard on her, and it's like they don't even see her as a real person; they often only see her as Satan's tool to get Job to sin by cursing God (Job 2:9,10). But i tend to see her as the wonderful mother and wife that she was before falling to such a sad state. Can you imagine falling from such a height as she did? She had it all, along with Job. Yet, she was not the one God commended as being righteous. God knew all along that Job would see it through the tragedy and his wife wouldn't; otherwise, He wouldn't be God. What happens when the mediocre good people such as her get hit with something hard? They simply fall apart, like she did. They no longer desire to "hold on to [their] integrity." Their true colors show through.

Yes, Job's wife was a tool in the hand of Satan, but i don't think she was always a fool. It was the disaster itself that caused her to "talk like a foolish woman." In my Bible, it says that "foolishness" implies a "moral deficiency." Therefore, you are acting like a fool when you act immoral, and you become a fool when you act immoral day after day. She was not in the habit of acting immoral; she had only just begun. She was wise enough to know that God had allowed these horrible things to happen to her. The difference between her and Job was that she accused God of wrongdoing and Job did not. That was the point where she lost her integrity and Job chose to hold on to his.

Let's not think that we are so far from being in Job's wife's position. Right now, we are blessed. We have all we need, we are healthy, we are loved, and our loved ones are blessed too. What happens to our thoughts and words and actions when we are hit with something painful? When we lose the blessings? When rain stops falling and our ground becomes hard and unfruitful?

Job knew that he was only a man. He knew that God must have a good reason for allowing this to happen, even if he did not know the reason. He knew that he didn't deserve those blessings in the first place. His wife, on the other hand, was willing to serve God when things went well, but the minute she lost everything, she chose to believe that God was evil. That is why she was willing to curse the Holy One.

So i see a strong connection between believing a lie and being immoral, aka being "a fool." My dear friends, if you begin to suggest that God is doing wrong, then you are beginning to act foolish and talk like a fool. Wisdom is knowing the truth and speaking it. Even in the midst of having God's Hand hard upon you, you know that He could never do wrong. He could never be evil. That is simply a lie.

Let this be our foundational belief when we see "good" people suffer, even if that good person is us...

GOD, my Father, please give me the strength to simply say (and deeply believe) that You are good, even when bad things happen to me and those i love. AMEN.

I wonder what happened to his wife when the blessings came back...did she repent of her harsh words about God? Did Job pray for her as he prayed for his friends? Or was it too late for her? We serve a very merciful God, and i myself wouldn't be a bit surprised to find her there in the New Kingdom, forgiven and totally unlike she was in that recorded moment when she, in deep anguish, told Job to curse his God.